I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
