Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
