i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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