he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
