i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
