Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
