Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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