after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
