Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
