I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
