how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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