why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
