sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
