i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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