She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
