a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
