i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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