I hate all girls vehemently.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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