it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
