So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
