so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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