Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
