i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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