so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
that's an acceptable place to lick
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
