Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
