yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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