i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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