Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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