So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
