no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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