I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I need a beard to bite.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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