i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
