I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
