There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
