I wannas sexs uuuuu
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
