my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Come see our sink grown plant.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
