chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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