what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
