Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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