I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
