I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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