Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
