if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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