So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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