I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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