Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
