anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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