I heard we made out
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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