Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
