people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
