Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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