just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
